Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
