perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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