3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
