I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
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