Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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