I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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