There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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