you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
