i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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