I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
