the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
