i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
