This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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