oh god the rape fog is back!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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