And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
