Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize