You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
