I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
