Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
