remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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