So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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