O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You're breaking my sexual little heart
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
