It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
