my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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