I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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