Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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