We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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