They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I AM VODKA MAN
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
