Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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