those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
