Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
