There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
