How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
