I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I fill condoms, not promises.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
