Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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