her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
