I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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