i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Someone shit on the floor
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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