I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
