WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
