I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
