I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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