3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
