so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He? As in you personified your dick?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
