my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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