god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
