then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
