Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
