so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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