i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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