I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
